i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
this will be a night to untag.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
