he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
