Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Randomize
