You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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