i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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