nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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