Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
