you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
