hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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