VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
