Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
