jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
