So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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