Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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