You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
