Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
