i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?