apparently the secret to your success is patron
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.