My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so let's talk penis.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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