would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All I want is dick and wine.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
