JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
