Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
