In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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