smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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