you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
