ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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