Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
