I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its liver damage thursday
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
