she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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