operation harelip BJ is a go
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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