She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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