What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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