then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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