So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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