Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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