You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
4 words: hood of his car
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
