My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
