what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
