hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
