Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
