I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
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They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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