and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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