Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize