You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize