do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
