I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Drunk is not a location!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
