all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
