OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
