Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Me too!
I smell stomach acid.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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