I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
