hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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