so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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