On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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