I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
