I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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