theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
