The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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