I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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