What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's blow job season.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
