If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There r osticjed everywhere
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
