the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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