I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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