Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He better not be in your backpack
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
