They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
