I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
