I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize