when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
